5 Reasons I STILL Talk About My Miscarriage
You may be wondering why I still ‘dwell’ on the past when I got what I wanted. Shouldn’t I have moved on by now? My story has a happy outcome. I have a baby. I have a family.
But here’s the thing…I’m not ‘dwelling’ on the past. I’m helping others live through exactly what I’ve experienced. Writing has proven to be MY form of therapy, MY form of church, what I feel most connected to and what has helped me overcome struggles and celebrate the good. If that’s not enough for you, here’s 5 reasons why I still talk about my miscarriage:
Grief is dynamic. It doesn’t end. It changes day to day, but it’s still there. Some days I’m nothing but happy, some days I wonder who our baby would have been.
It helps other people. This one is so important. We don’t talk about miscarriage. We don’t announce our pregnancies until 12 weeks “just in case”. We suffer alone. I am so thankful to have connected with so many women.
It helps me. Talking helps heal the heart. I got to this place of happiness by talking. I’m not going to stop doing something that has brought me so much good.
It’s a part of who I am. Experiences stay with you. My self-identity has transformed to include the titles “loss mom” and “miscarriage advocate”. My world now revolves around my “rainbow baby”. It has changed how I view pregnancy. It has made me so grateful for our rainbow baby. If I’m being honest, it has a history of making me bitter toward pregnant friends. My miscarriage has changed me for the better and for the worse, but it’s a part of me.
It keeps the memory of our angel baby alive. That pregnancy wasn’t for no reason. I learned how to love in a new way and grieve in a new way. I learned how to communicate and new coping strategies. We take Anderson’s monthly milestone photos on this rainbow blanket, just as a little reminder to ourselves.
My question is...why aren’t we talking about miscarriages more?